How to Revive the Pastor’s Heart (Before it’s Too Late)

There was a season years ago when I had a regular gym membership where I was committed, showing up regularly, putting in the effort. But after a few months of hard work and very little evidence of a six-pack, my enthusiasm faded, and I eventually stopped going altogether (because clearly, I should have looked like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in just 10 short weeks but didn’t).  

There was, however, one guy at the gym who never missed a session and who fascinated me. From his shoulders to his waist, the man looked like he was preparing for Mr. Universe body building competition. His upper body was built like a marble statue, biceps, chest, shoulders, everything was massive. But from his waist down… and let’s just say, it looked like his legs were fasting. His thighs looked like they belonged to an entirely different person.

It was so strikingly imbalanced that I pointed it out to a friend, and he casually said, “Oh, that guy? He skips leg day.” Apparently, in the world of fitness, if you only train your favourite muscle groups and ignore the rest, your body will look like it was built by two different contractors who didn’t communicate. Of course, I never asked him his name or offered my professional bodybuilding expertise, because, quite frankly, I was afraid his upper body might beat me up.

Now, before we judge this brother too harshly, let’s be honest, many of us pastors are guilty of this spiritually.

Some have massive theological muscles but tiny relational engagement. Others have powerful emotional worship moments but haven't studied Scripture deeply in years. And then there are those who do everything with their strength, always serving, always organizing, always on the go, but they never pause to actually be with God.

The problem? Jesus never told us to pick our strongest area and camp there. In Mark 12:30, He commanded us to love the Lord our God with ALL our heart, ALL our soul, ALL our mind, and ALL our strength. But most of us, if we’re honest, have been skipping something.

3 SPIRITUAL MUSCLES YOU MIGHT BE IGNORING

So, let’s take a look at some of the “spiritual muscle groups” that pastors tend to favor.

1. The Intellectual Pastor: Loving God with the Mind

Some pastors are scholars of the Word. They love God deeply through study and teaching, delighting in the richness of Scripture, theological depth, and sound doctrine. Their minds are sharp, their exegesis is solid, and their bookshelves are filled with commentaries. They are the ones who defend truth and keep the church grounded in biblical integrity. But in the pursuit of intellectual excellence, they miss the relational and experiential aspects of faith, those moments when the congregation longs not just for deep teaching but for a shepherd who walks among them, feels with them, and models what it means to be both learned and loving.

So, here’s the question: Is your heart engaged as much as your mind?

Because let’s be real, some pastors have mastered the art of intellectualizing the faith without actually living it out. Deep study, but shallow relationships. Flawless doctrine, but little compassion. Some can deliver an expository sermon on Romans 8 with precision but struggle to connect with the everyday struggles of their congregation. And while they can debate theological nuances for hours, their own prayer life has dwindled into occasional, half-hearted routines.

Of course, this isn’t true for every intellectual pastor! But for those who recognize a bit of themselves here, maybe it’s time to ask: Is my love for God just in my head, or is it also in my walk?

2. The Presence-Seeking Pastor: Loving God with the Heart and Soul

Some pastors are worshippers and seekers of God’s presence. They love God with their hearts and souls, fully engaging in the passionate pursuit of His presence. They thrive in moments of deep worship, prophetic encounters, and Holy Spirit-led movements. These are the pastors who stir revival, who long for the church to be awakened to the tangible reality of God. Yet, sometimes, in their desire for fresh revelation, they may struggle to anchor their experiences in steady, daily faithfulness or to engage their minds in the disciplined study that strengthens their foundation.

So again, here’s the question: Is there depth in your worship, or is it all emotion?

The truth is, some pastors are experts at creating spiritual highs but fail to cultivate lasting transformation. They can stir a crowd, but are they discipling their people in the Word? They chase after prophetic revelations, but have they learned to walk faithfully in the quiet seasons? Some are so focused on the next big revival meeting that they neglect the daily, steady faithfulness of growing in Christ.

And at its worst, we’ve seen some pastors exploit spiritual enthusiasm for personal gain, manufacturing emotions, selling "anointing oils," or using prayer as a tool for manipulation. For those who find themselves in this category, maybe the question is: Am I leading people into true worship or just an emotional experience? And do I love God only when I feel His presence, or am I faithful even when He is silent?

3. The Tireless Pastor: Loving God With Strength

Then, there are the servant-leaders and mission-driven doers. These pastors love God with their strength, pouring their energy into the work of the Kingdom. They are the ones tirelessly organizing outreaches, planning church events, traveling for missions, and mobilizing their congregations to serve. Their love for God is visible in action. But in their unrelenting drive, they may find it hard to slow down, rest, or simply be with God rather than always working for Him.

Here's question for this group to ponder: Have you built into your schedule solitude and rest, or has work become an idol? 

Some pastors are so busy doing things for God that they forget to actually spend time with Him. Their schedules are packed, their calendars full, but their personal devotion time? Non-existent. And at its worst, some of this activity isn’t Kingdom-driven at all, it’s about reputation, visibility, and influence. In a culture where pastoral success is often measured by church size, social media following, and the number of programs hosted per year, some pastors have confused busyness with fruitfulness.

For those who see themselves here, maybe the question is: Am I doing all of this for God, or am I also seeking validation? And when was the last time I truly rested in His presence, without an agenda?

When rightly expressed, none of these ways of loving God are wrong. In fact, each one reflects a vital aspect of ministry! The guy at the gym wasn’t out of shape, far from it. His upper body was a masterpiece of dedication. But because he only focused on the muscle groups he preferred; the imbalance was glaring. And whether he realized it or not, his skipped leg days were obvious to everyone but him.

Here's the thing though (when it comes to pastoral leadership), Jesus didn’t ask us to choose which manner we preferred best to love, He commanded us to love God fully. Mark 12:30, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”

This is not a menu to pick from it’s a command to live by!

It is not a spiritual menu where we pick our favourite expressions of devotion while ignoring the rest. It is a holistic calling to experience the fullness of God in every area of our lives.

So, how do we do that? How do we ensure that we are not just loving God in the way that feels most comfortable, but embracing all that He has for us? Let’s explore ten practical steps to resuscitate our souls, minds, spirits, and bodies, so that we can minister from a place of wholeness rather than depletion.

10 PRACTICAL STEPS FOR PASTORS TO REVIVE THEIR SOUL, MIND, BODY, AND SPIRIT

1. Physical Exercise: Get Moving, Pastor

Ministry often demands long hours of sitting, whether in study, sermon preparation, counselling sessions, or endless meetings. Over time, this sedentary lifestyle takes a toll, on your health, your energy, and even your clarity of mind. Many pastors feel exhausted, not just spiritually, but physically. And yet, our bodies are the very instruments through which we serve God and others.

Think about it, when your body is weak, sluggish, or unwell, it affects everything, right? Your mood is shorter, your patience wears thin, your energy to serve diminishes. It’s hard to shepherd a flock when your own body is crying out for care. And let’s be real, many of us Nigerian pastors struggle with neglecting our health in the name of ministry. The reality is that your calling doesn’t require you to run yourself into the ground, it requires endurance.

Start small, but start somewhere:

• Take daily walks: even better, take them with your spouse. It’s not just exercise; it’s time to connect. Aim for a 30-minute daily walk.

• Stretch between meetings: your body wasn’t made to be hunched over a desk all day.

• Pick a fun activity: whether it’s football, swimming, or even chasing your kids around the house. Move your body in a way that brings you joy.

Remember, you are not just a soul and a spirit, you are also a body, and God cares about it too. Take care of the vessel that carries His calling.

2. Relax When You Rest: Like You Believe God is in Control

Let’s be honest, most pastors don’t know how to rest. And if they do, they feel guilty about it. There’s always another sermon to prepare, another phone call to return, another crisis to manage. Some pastors even equate exhaustion with faithfulness, as if the more burnt out they are, the more devoted they must be. But the truth is, rest is not a luxury, it is a command.

When God instituted the Sabbath, it wasn’t because He needed it, it was because we did (Exodus 20:8-11). Even Jesus, in the height of His ministry, took time away from the crowds to rest and be with the Father (Mark 6:31). Yet many pastors act as if the church cannot survive without them, meanwhile, their own families are barely surviving their absence.

Practical ways to reclaim rest:

• Set clear boundaries. The church will not collapse if you take an evening off to be fully present with your family. Set designated "off hours" and honor them.

• Unplug intentionally. That phone call, that WhatsApp message? It can wait. When you are home, be home. Put your phone on silent and resist the urge to “just check” emails.

• Find a rest ritual that refreshes you. A book, a quiet evening with your spouse, a walk outside, something that signals to your soul, "It is okay to pause."

Pastor, you are not the Savior of the world. Jesus already holds that title. Rest, so you can serve from overflow, not depletion.

3. Step Outside: Your Soul Needs Fresh Air Too

There’s something deeply spiritual about nature. When God created the world, He didn’t build churches first, He created rivers, mountains, trees, and open skies. And yet, many pastors spend their entire week locked indoors, in offices, behind pulpits, in meeting rooms, on Zoom calls. The only "outside" they see is from their car window, rushing from one church event to another.

Nature has a way of resetting the mind and spirit. It reminds you that the world is bigger than your church office, that God’s creation is grander than your to-do list. Jesus Himself frequently withdrew to the wilderness to pray (Luke 5:16). If Jesus, who had a perfect connection with the Father, needed moments alone in nature, how much more do we?

How to reconnect with creation:

• Take a personal retreat. Even a 24-hour getaway at a quiet retreat center can renew your spirit.

• Incorporate daily outdoor moments. Whether it’s sitting in your compound with your Bible or taking a walk, let nature be part of your rhythm.

• Pray outside. Instead of pacing your office, take your prayers into the open air. Let the calm of creation speak to your soul.

Sometimes, the best way to hear from God is not through another meeting, but through the rustling of leaves, the sound of the wind, or the quiet of a morning walk. Don’t neglect the simple gift of stepping outside.

4. Find Your Safe Space: Talk to a Friend or a Counsellor

Ministry can be one of the loneliest callings, even when you're constantly surrounded by people. The irony is striking, pastors spend their lives listening to others, counselling others, praying for others, but when it comes to their own struggles, who do they turn to?

Many pastors have mastered the art of suffering in silence. They carry the weight of church expectations, congregational conflicts, financial pressures, and personal struggles, yet, for fear of appearing weak, they keep it all bottled up. The result? Emotional exhaustion, spiritual dryness, and in some cases, secret struggles that spiral out of control.

Here’s the truth: You were never meant to carry it all alone. Even Moses needed Aaron and Hur to hold up his hands when he grew weary (Exodus 17:12). Even Jesus had Peter, James, and John as His inner circle during His most intense moments (Mark 14:33-34). If Jesus didn’t do ministry alone, why should you?

Practical steps to break the cycle of isolation:

• Regular Check-Ins: Have one trusted friend or mentor you check in with regularly, someone who can encourage you, challenge you, and listen without judgment.

• Counselling is Not a Weakness: If you’re battling emotional wounds or burnout, a Christian counsellor can help you process and heal. Therapy is not for the weak, it is for the wise.

• Join a Pastors’ Support Group (we offer this in our ministry at The Gathering Faith Leadership Network): Find a space where you can be real, open, and prayed for, a place where you don’t always have to be the strong one.

Pastor, you were called to shepherd others, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need shepherding yourself. Find someone who can walk with you, listen to you, and remind you that you are not alone.

5. Engage Your Creativity: Your Soul Needs Expression Too

There’s a side of ministry that no one talks about, how draining it can be to always give, give, and give. Preaching, counselling, leading, administrating - it’s all about output. But what about input? What about the things that fill your soul with joy, refresh your spirit, and allow you to express yourself outside of the pulpit?

Many pastors ignore their creative side, thinking it's unimportant or a distraction from "serious" ministry. But here’s the truth: God Himself is a Creator (Genesis 1:1), and He made us in His image. Creativity is part of how we experience God’s joy and renewal.

You don’t have to be a professional artist or musician, just find something that sparks life in you:

• Music and Worship: Blast a worship song in your office or at home, dance, sing, play an instrument. It’s not for the congregation; it’s for your soul.

• Photography or Videography: Capture the beauty around you, your kids, your environment, moments of joy. See the world through a different lens.

• Cooking or Baking: Try a new recipe, experiment in the kitchen, and invite your family to join you. Laugh, taste, and enjoy the process.

• Sports and Movement: Football, basketball, or even just playing a game with your children, move your body in a way that brings fun, not just fitness.

• Travel and Exploration: Step outside your routine. Visit a place in your city you’ve never really explored.

Creativity is not wasting time, it is restoring your joy. When you create, you tap into something bigger than yourself. Find what excites you and give yourself permission to enjoy it.

6. Master the Art of Saying, "No": Even Jesus Did

There’s a silent rule in many churches: If you’re a good pastor, you should always say yes. Yes to every invitation. Yes to every request. Yes to every problem that comes your way.

But here’s the reality, you are not Jesus. And even He didn’t say yes to everything.

Jesus walked away from crowds (Luke 5:16), refused to be manipulated into action (John 7:3-6), and prioritized rest over people’s demands (Mark 6:31). If Jesus, who was God in the flesh, knew His limits, why do so many pastors feel guilty for having them?

Saying "yes" to everything might make you look spiritual, but in reality, it’s often a sign of fear, people-pleasing, or an unhealthy need to be needed. The danger? You become so overextended that your family suffers, your health declines, and your relationship with God weakens, all because you were too afraid to say, "I can’t."

Practical steps to set boundaries:

• Prioritize Your Calling: Not every opportunity is your assignment. Ask: "Does this align with my God-given purpose?" If not, let it go.

• Practice Saying No: Start small. When an extra demand comes up, say: "I appreciate the opportunity, but I’m not able to commit right now."

• Delegate Without Guilt: Train and trust your team. The church will survive if you take a step back.

Remember, you are a steward of your time and energy. Saying "no" to some things is what allows you to say "yes" to the right things, your health, your family, your time with God.

7. Reconnect with Your Wife:  Your Marriage is Ministry Too

If there is one relationship that often suffers in the name of ministry, it is marriage. Many pastors spend so much time nurturing the church that they neglect the one person who walks with them through every season, their wife.

Whether you tell her or not, your wife feels everything you feel, your joys, your pressures, your disappointments. She carries your burdens in silence, watches as you pour yourself into the congregation, and sometimes wonders, “Where do I fit into all of this?” If care is not taken, ministry can turn into a love triangle, God, the church, and your wife, where your wife often feels like she’s coming in last.

But here’s the truth: Your marriage is not separate from your calling, it is part of it. Your ability to love and cherish your wife directly affects your capacity to shepherd others well (1 Timothy 3:4-5). The strength of your home impacts the strength of your ministry.

Ways to reconnect with your wife:

• Daily Check-Ins: Take a few moments each morning to share what’s on your mind, not as pastor and church worker, but as husband and wife.

• Date Nights Without Church Talk: Schedule regular time together where ministry conversations are off-limits. Just enjoy each other’s company.

• Shared Devotions: Pray and study together, not just for sermon preparation, but for the sake of your own spiritual intimacy.

Pastor, the church can find another leader, but your wife only has one husband. Reconnect, before the distance grows wider.

8. Celebrate the Milestones: Don’t Just Move on to the Next Task

Ministry can often feel like a never-ending cycle of work, preach one Sunday, plan the next, counsel one person, meet another, organize one event, start preparing for the next one. Before you know it, years have passed, and all you remember are the struggles, not the victories.

But what if, instead of always moving to the next assignment, you took time to celebrate what God has already done?

Pausing to celebrate is not a waste of time, it is an act of worship and gratitude. In the Old Testament, after significant victories, Israel would set up memorial stones as a testimony of God’s faithfulness (1 Samuel 7:12). In the same way, you need to create intentional moments of celebration, for yourself, your family, and your team.

How to celebrate the milestones:

• Acknowledge Achievements: After a big project or church event, take time to thank your team. A simple public appreciation or a handwritten note goes a long way.

• Celebrate Together: Have a family or team dinner, not to plan the next thing, but to genuinely rejoice in what God has done.

• Personal Reflection: Keep a journal of answered prayers and victories. When tough times come, it will remind you of God’s past faithfulness.

Ministry will always have more to do. But if you don’t stop to celebrate, you’ll burn out chasing the next thing without ever appreciating what’s been accomplished.

9. Delegate and Empower: You Are Not Called to Do Everything

Many pastors struggle with delegation because they believe the church depends on them. And while you are vital to your congregation, the truth is: you are not called to do it all alone.

Moses learned this lesson the hard way. He was doing everything himself, settling disputes, leading the people, carrying all the weight. But his father-in-law Jethro wisely told him: "What you are doing is not good… You will wear yourself out, and the people too" (Exodus 18:17-18).

Some pastors refuse to delegate because of pride, they want everything done their way. Others don’t delegate because of insecurity, they fear losing control or being overshadowed. But refusing to share the load isn’t wisdom, it’s self-sabotage.

How to delegate well:

• Identify Potential Leaders: Look for members who show faithfulness, competence, and willingness to serve.

• Train and Trust Them: Equip them and release them, don’t hover over their every move.

• Let Go of Perfectionism: Things won’t always be done your way, but as long as they’re done well, that’s okay.

Your church should not fall apart if you step away for a while. Raise others up so that the ministry is bigger than just you.

10. Invest in Soul Care: Register for our Soul Care Training

Many pastors carry emotional wounds they have never processed, burnout, betrayal, exhaustion, personal struggles. But instead of healing, they keep pushing through until they eventually collapse.  Yet, ministry was never meant to be carried alone.

Investing in soul care is not about self-indulgence, it is about longevity in ministry, and one of the best ways to do this is by attending a soul care seminar with your team or spouse. These moments allow you to pause, reflect, and receive, without the pressure of leading.

In our ministry here at The Gathering Faith Leadership Network, we have designed a Soul Care Training specifically for pastors and pastors’ wives who want to lead from a place of strength, clarity, and renewal, not burnout, insecurity, or survival mode.

We offer several ways to engage in Soul Care Training:

• A 12-week in-person semester in Jos, Nigeria (held twice a year) for deep, structured learning in a cohort of fellow pastors.

• A 12-week online semester (coming soon), designed for pastors and their wives who want to journey together through emotional and spiritual renewal.

• A 2 or 3-day intensive seminar on location in Jos for those who prefer a shorter, immersive experience.

• A one-day training for pastors in their city (in partnership with select churches), allowing leaders to receive soul care tools within their own ministry context.

• A custom training at your church, we can travel to your location to train you and a gathering of pastors under your leadership.

Why is this important? Because unresolved personal struggles, whether burnout, isolation, hidden insecurity, or old wounds, have a way of creeping into our ministries. You might not even realize how unprocessed pain is shaping the way you lead. This training is designed to help you pause, reflect, and reconnect with the emotional and spiritual foundations needed to lead well.

What You’ll Gain from a Soul Care Training:

• A safe space to be honest about the struggles of ministry without judgment.

• Small group discussions and prayer cohorts, where you’ll be encouraged and challenged by fellow pastors.

• Our courses include themes like:

• Breaking free from strongholds that hinder your spiritual and emotional growth.

• Releasing shame: the hidden driver behind unhealthy ministry behaviors.

• Healing the father and mother wounds that subtly affect how you lead.

• Uprooting a religious spirit: learning to follow Jesus, not just church traditions.

• Overcoming burnout and resuscitating your heart for ministry.

• Addressing pornography struggles: both in your personal life and within your church.

• Managing church conflict in a way that honors God and protects your own well-being.

Your soul needs this, your family will feel the difference, and your ministry will flourish when you lead from a place of health.

In the Name of Jesus, Pastor, Please Reset

If you’ve read this far, congratulations! That means at least one of these ten practices has struck a chord. Maybe it was the reminder to move your body before your body moves you to the hospital, or the gentle nudge to actually enjoy a meal with your wife without checking your phone every five minutes.

Here’s the thing, pastor: you are not just a preacher, a counsellor, a church builder, or a problem solver. You are a child of God first, a husband (if married), a father, and a human being who needs care, rest, and joy. The anointing on your life does not cancel out the fact that your body needs exercise, your emotions need processing, and your soul needs refreshing.

So, what’s your next step? Pick one of these ten practices today, just one. Maybe it’s finally saying "no" without guilt. Maybe it’s getting serious about soul care (and registering for one of our Soul Care Trainings, because, let’s be real, you know you need it). Whatever it is, don’t just read this and move on, actually do something that replenishes your soul, mind, body, and spirit. Because the church will keep running, the programs will keep coming, and the needs will never stop. But if you collapse from burnout, exhaustion, or spiritual dryness, who will fill your shoes?

Dear pastor, before you crash, before your body forces you to rest, before your joy runs dry, take care of yourself. Your ministry will thank you. Your wife will thank you. Your congregation will thank you. And most importantly, your future self will thank you.

Now, go take a nap. Or a walk. Or register for Soul Care Training. Just don’t do nothing.

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